Hi. Do I know you?

I sometimes wonder if we ever really know another person or if we overlay that person with an expectation that is strictly ours. An extreme example of this would be the neighbor that the police arrest one day and charge with the murder of 15 people over a period of five years. Inevitably the people in the neighborhood describe him as “that nice Mr. Jones. So polite and friendly. I just can’t believe it. A quiet man but a good neighbor.”

At the other end of the spectrum, take a look at your spouse, if you’re married, or another important person in your life. Can you honestly say you have never been bewildered by their reaction to a chance remark? Could it be that you only know the person you want them to be and that your perception of them is mostly an overlay of that person?

I suspect that this is the case with all our relationships. We only see what we have a need to see.